Screwbitz
Justin
Del Valle
Feast
of Fluff 2016
There
was a low ringing through the halls of the Wings
of Justice. The
sound of the klaxon fading and being replaced by the general hum of
the warp drive. Unsure of what caused the alarm, Inquisitor Ja'Quinn
chose to ignore it. Tall and precise
in movements, Ja'Quinn strode with haste
toward the re-purposed conference room. Golden
hair with a strong jaw, the Inquisitor would be called handsome if
not beautiful. Ja'Quinn
absently
thumbed
the holster of his las-pistol as he tried to make sense of his...
“guest's” story. The naval crew he passed saluted him although
others turned to avoid him when they saw him coming. Everyone aboard
knew that he was with the Inquisition and they were understandably
uncomfortable,
worried that any misstep would cause Ja'Quinn to denounce them for
heresy. Ja'Quinn ignored the rude
behavior
too, more
concerned with the problem at
hand.
There was a puzzle here, reminding him of the twisted puzzles that
his father made from scrap metal in the under-hive on Armageddon.
He felt that with the right pull, everything would become clear. He
just needed to find the right piece.
Entering
the conference room, Ja'Quinn saw that his guest was still being
entertained by Groomp. The ogryn was loyal beyond measure and
equally as stupid. Groomp had a mechanical eye that replaced the one
he had lost in service to Ja'Quinn which the ogryn felt made him
smarter. Still, Groomp would only follow orders from Ja'Quinn
himself and that made him reliable enough to watch over the guest.
Guardsman
Leoth Grey was dressed in plain work clothes, gathered from the crew
of the Wings of Justice.
Short cropped brown hair,
and a too youthful face, Grey
was the piece of the puzzle that Ja'Quinn needed to twist today. As
the Inquisitor entered, Grey rose to his feet and
saluted. Groomp withdrew to a corner and began to eat something
smelly from his pocket.
“Guardsman,
I am feeling talkative today. I have reviewed your statements from
earlier and I feel that there is something missing, maybe
intentionally, or maybe not. However, I feel that given your
intimate knowledge of the... incident, a certain amount of history
might help you remember these
omissions.” The Inquisitor studied Grey, waiting to see if his
speech changed the soldier's demeanor.
“Yes,
sir.” was Grey's curt reply.
“Guardsman,
what I am about to share with you is sealed to the Inquisition and
the Emperor, may he live forever. This information was pieced
together with records
from the Ministourum and from data-slates that were recovered from
the moon.” Ja'Quinn removed a holocube from his pouch and opened
the file depicting the planet Ganesha.
The image projected from the cube washed
the room in orange light
causing Groomp to glance up from his snack. The three dimensional
image was not stationary. The
moon was slowly orbiting the planet. “This planet was lost to the
Imperium for a number
of years. Warp
storms made this area of the segmentum unreachable. Before that,
Ganesha was a lush world with a favorable climate for colonization.
In addition the moon, FMS-4711, was ripe with minerals that would be
beneficial to the Imperium. It was ten years after the first
colonists were settled that the sinister Eldar began their attack on
the world. Using the largely ignored moon as its base for counter
operations, the Astra Militarum fought the Eldar to a standstill for
nearly twenty years. Most of the initial colonies were destroyed by
the Xenos, but we still had a strong presence on the southern
hemisphere and, of course, on the moon FMS-4711.”
Grey
listened with apparent interest as the Inquisitor recounted the
story. Ja'Quinn had to believe that either
the Guardsman had no
knowledge of these events or that he was very well trained in
deception. “After this period of twenty years, the Eldar began to
receive reinforcements from somewhere unknown and began to turn the
tide of this engagement against the Imperium. All seemed lost. The
records show that vicious
warp storms originated around this time preventing assistance from
the Astartes or the Imperial
Navy. However, records from
the moon that we have recently discovered show that another
significant event occurred at the same time. An Imperial cruiser
crashed into the moon-base. Shortly
after this event, Orks appeared en masse.
This event ruined any chance for the Militarum to continue
operations against the Eldar. Those
that were on the surface of the planet were likely overrun. To
the knowledge of the Imperium itself, Ganesha
and FMS-4711 were lost.”
Grey swallowed at this point, and the Inquisitor noticed a twitch in
his blue left eye.
“Lost. Until, that is,
we received the distress call...”
*****
Deep
within the mines, Screwbitz, the Mad Mek smiled. He had rebuilt the
human signal device. Staring at the unfamiliar characters that
flashed across the screen Screwbitz knew that they would come. It
didn' matter who. The only thing that mattered was something would
come. The Klanz grew restless. Krumping
the last humans and smashing
the robot defenses of this old place had helped for a time, but the
Mad Mek knew that his boyz wanted a proper scrap. The pansies quit
coming a while back and the spiky pansies had run off. More
machine than Ork, Screwbitz filled the control chamber with his
immense bulk. His new body was a vision from Gork. Built from some
sort of walking vehicle that the boyz had blown up, Screwbitz now had
four powerful legs to go along with his giant Klaw.
“Impressive,
great leader. Your knowledge of the machines of Man is amazing to
behold...”
Screwbitz
turned toward the speaker. This raggedy human, with his big blue
eyes pretended to grovel. He used big words to try and confuse. The
Mad Mek saw through his dissembling. Suppressing the urge to rip the
speaker in half, Screwbitz spoke.
“Oomie,
yer walkin' a line ya don see. We'z already foun' da rest of yer
boyz, an' me ladz bled 'em nice. I wan' anserz from ye. Questshuns
I got fo' ye. O'ly rezun yer 'live now.” The rumbling voice
sounded like the engine of one of the great earth moving machines
that the humans had left behind. The voice of the Big Mek almost
seemed to shake the entire chamber. The big blue eyes widened, but
the gaze remained firm, giving away his pretense.
“Mercy,
oh Great One! I can be very valuable. I have intimate knowledge of
this mine. I was a part of the crew here.”
Screwbitz
turned to face the human. With a loud burst of steam, his Klaw move
toward the human deftly grabbing the front of the human's shirt.
Picking the man up was effortless as the Mad Mek drew him towards his
metallic face.
“Mercy?
Never 'erd of 'im. Yer gonna anser my questshuns. Do
it right like and quick, an' I'll smash ye fast. Mess wif me an'
I'll toss ye to da squigz.” Still
no fear in the eyes.
“Y-yes,
My Lord! Ask! Please. You will see how useful I am.”
“Wer
da rest uv da Demonz at?” Screwbitz smiled again – there was the
fear that had been missing.
“D-Demons?
I d-don't...” Screwbitz hurled the human across the room into
a stand of unknown equipment.
A shower of sparks fanned across the room from the broken machinery.
Blood pooled out from a gash on the man's head, further matting his
close cropped brown hair.
“Not
gonna be fast now.” Screwbitz began to advance until movement from
the entryway distracted him. Huge bat-like wings were visible from
the doorway. The man began to laugh though blood clenched teeth.
“Now
you will see! Filthy Ork! You ruined it! All of it was going
according to plan! My master is here now...” The human rose to his
knees and stopped as he took in the rest of the form. Demonic horns
thrust from a large green face, the wings green as well.
“Boss,
he tellz us?” The creature spoke. Green energy rose off of his
body like fluid falling upward. His skin seemed to glow with this
green energy. A red pulsing
was noticeable in a few spots, cracks amongst the green.
“Almost,”
the Mad Mek turned again toward the kneeling human, “Wer da rest
at? Me
weirdboy sur iz 'ungry.” Blue
eyes bulged in the human's face. His mouth seemed to be trying to
form words. Screwbitz laughed, the sound of metal grinding bones to
dust. “Can't fin' yer wordz? Li'l oomie. Da Blud Drinka luvs
eatin' 'arts. Demon 'arts iz da best fer 'im. We'z found da firs'
unz.
We knowz derz more.”
“Imp-
No! You speak lies, Ork! The ritual will be finished! Greenskin
blood will suffice for my masters.” The human rose unsteadily to
his feet. “I have power,
oh yes, I have been marked by my masters. I will bring you to heel!”
The man ripped open his shirt revealing a strange mark branded into
his chest. Energy began to pulse from the image. The room began to
grow cold. Screwbitz laughed. Dark psychic energy manifested into a
writhing whip that lashed out at the Big Mek. It collided with a
green force, a
shield of energy created
by the winged weirdboy. The man shrieked in frustration and rage, he
doubled his efforts. Screwbitz advanced, laughing, enjoying the
futile spectacle before him. “Deff
will be slow fer ye.” His
Klaw lashed out with incredible speed, connecting with a squelch.
Blackness took the man. The last sound he heard was Screwbitz in an
almost whisper – “Slow.”
*****
“What
can you tell us of the Ork leader? From your report, you have
encountered him?” Ja'Quinn saw that he was making Grey
uncomfortable. Another might have missed the signs. Grey was an
excellent liar.
“He
calls himself Screwbitz, sir. A silly name in the Ork fashion. He
has augmented himself with machines taken from the Eldar. It would
seem that his knack for re-purposing technology is why he took the
moniker. However, he is extremely dangerous. Most of what was left
behind at the main dig site on the moon has been fashioned into Ork
weaponry.”
“Hardly
unusual, Guardsman. Orks are notorious looters.”
“Indeed,
sir. The scale at which he does this is what is remarkable. He
has...”
“That
is not what is important. The question of how he replicated the
distress signal is. We have detected this signal on multiple
channels. The authorization codes needed for this would be beyond
the understanding of any Ork.” Ja'Quinn let that sink in. He
could see Grey's mind working furiously, a single bead of sweat began
to form above the too blue eyes of his guest.
“Inquisitor,
are you implying that someone gave him the codes? That would seem
less likely than... well, than anything else. This Screwbitz is a
maniac, sir. Human life, or any life, means nothing to him.”
“So,
Guardsman, you would rather I assume that this Ork from a back-water
moon, managed to interface with and crack an encrypted code sequence
using his... what? Luck? Superior intellect? No, Grey. There is a
traitor here. That is the only explanation. Someone betrayed the
Imperium and the Emperor, may he live forever, just to save their own
sorry skin.”
Grey
was still. He could see what Ja'Quinn meant. “Sir. Sir you are
mistaken. I... survived my encounter with that beast by luck. I
don't know the codes needed to send the signal. I... I am not...”
“Enough.
You are good at the game of secrets, Grey. I am better.”
Ja'Quinn gestured to Groomp and the ogryn moved from his corner.
“There is something you are hiding from me and I mean to have it.”
Grey's
head swiveled between the Inquisitor and Groomp. His movements were
those of a cornered animal. “Sir. Sir... you must, Sir!” The
klaxon came to life again, its sound drowning out Grey's panicked
breaths. Suddenly the ship lurched. Gravity changed direction and
the Guardsman was flung toward the roof. Groomp put one of his
massive hands against the ceiling and stayed put, bracing himself and
grabbing Ja'Quinn out of midair. Just as abruptly gravity was
restored and Grey was slammed back to the ground.
“It
appears our friend has fainted, Groomp. Tie him up. If he speaks to
you without me here, knock him out again. I need to asses the
situation.”
*****
“It
is some sort of massive tractor beam, Inquisitor. Coming from the
moon. It is not strong enough to pull us in, but if we maintain our
current distance, things could get bumpy.” The Captain was
resplendent in his uniform. His snow white hair was perfectly
manicured for his rank. More direct than most when dealing with an
agent of the Inquisition, Captain Edwards was a seasoned veteran with
the Navy. As if to punctuate his statements the klaxon flared to
life once more, a brief warning before the tractor beam shook the
ship.
“Well,
Captain. I would not like to see any significant damage to your
vessel. I will need a shuttle. You will travel to a safer distance
and broadcast a message for me.” Ja'Quinn handed Edwards a
data-slate.
“You
are going down there? How many of my men do you need?”
Ja'Quinn
smiled. This Edwards was a bright spot in this mess. A commendation
letter would be required. “Only one. A secondary pilot for the
shuttle. I have my own to assist with everything else. Make sure he
is steady, Captain.”
Captain
Edwards saluted, “I'll have one, Inquisitor.”
*****
“Wake up, heretic.”
Grey
opened his eyes. The familiar brownish blue of the sky on FMS –
4711 greeted him. The constant dust storms were blowing in full.
Grime was caked to his eyes and lips. Grey looked around and noticed
the shuttle. The large ogryn was nearby watching him. The
Inquisitor was discussing something with a crewman.
“You
missed planet-fall. Slept like a baby right through it. Must be
nice to have such a clear conscience. Or is it a concussion?”
The
speaker was a woman. Dressed in gray and brown fatigues, she almost
seemed to blend into the surrounding without trying. No hair was
visible under her tight wrapped headgear. Goggles hid her eyes but
her skin was pale around her mouth. Despite the camo gear she was
wearing, the figure was distinctly female. Only a fool would fail to
notice. Grey decided not to answer. Biding his time seemed best.
“Most
likely a concussion,” Ja'Quinn called over his shoulder. “We
have no time for his injuries now. He has one role to play.”
Grey's
mind spun. Role? What is this damned fool talking about? The
Inquisitor had no idea how far off the mark he was. Those damned
Orks! They ruined everything. The gate was close, his brothers had
turned the majority of the ranks to their cause. The Eldar and their
Dark brethren had the forces on Genesha all but defeated. The ritual
to summon the warp storms had been a success. Then out of nowhere,
these Orks attacked the moon. Years of planning destroyed by these
filthy aliens.
“You
have secrets still, Guardsman. I see the panic in your face. You
are well trained. However, this puzzle is getting more interesting
the more I dig.” Ja'Quinn pulled a rolled-up parchment from his
bag. “This I received as a gift. It was strange to come across it
on my first visit to this moon, when I scooped you up, Grey. My
first visit I was given this and I had no idea what it was. Well, I
knew what it was, just not the context.” The Inquisitor began to
unroll the bundle. It looked more like thin leather than parchment,
cracks and dried blood along the back side. As he finished, Ja'Quinn
showed him the skin. The mark of Chaos branded deep.
Grey
clutched his chest. Impossible! The woman reached over and
tore open Grey's shirt revealing the scarred flesh. The deep wounds
where he had been skinned by Screwbitz now
visible. The pain and
memories came back. The strange laughing medic, keeping him awake
while the monster did his work. Grey felt the machine inside him.
The mechanical heart
that Screwbitz had placed
inside his body to keep him alive burned.
He remembered the Blud
Drinka laughing while it ate
his real heart. “No mor
Demonz lef,
yurz 'ill do.” How could
this Inquisitor have gotten that skin? Footsteps like thunder. Over
the ridge he saw. Screwbitz followed by a host of Orks. His machine
body spewing smoke and steam. The ogryn grew tense. The crewman
rushed back onto the shuttle. Ja'Quinn was unfazed.
“So
you are the Boss, then? Screwbitz?” Ja'Quinn asked of the massive
metal monster.
“Daz
right, I be Da Mad Mek, Screwbitz!” Hundreds of Ork voices took
up the energy, “Screwbitz! Screwbitz!” A few shot their weapons
into the air. “Got me present? Good. I new uze oomies wud like
dat one. I 'ad fun meself.”
“Why
give me this? Why did you let this one live?”
“Eez
a Demon luvin' oomie, dat one. Planin' to bring all sorts of 'em
'ere. Gotz hiz temple, hiz ladz, even a couple actual Demonz! Dey
livin' in me cavez till my ladz smashed 'em!,” More cheers and
gunfire. “Dat one, I sayz he gonna die real slow. I skinz him.
I takez hiz 'art. Den I fix 'im up gud. Eez a liar, gud un. I sayz
to me how ta make 'im really really suffa? Give 'im back to da
oomies!” Hideous laughter echoed from a hundred Ork voices.
“One
more thing, Screwbitz, how did you crack the codes for the distress
signal?”
The
laughter stopped. A mechanical eye, akin to the one Groomp wore, whirred and refocused. Screwbitz moved his massive bulk toward
Ja'Quinn. Quietly, like the
hum of the warp drive back on the Wings of Justice,
“I iz
very, very smart, Ja'Quinn. You
got Big Boss Blud Fist to come 'ere. You
was plannin' on us ladz krumpin dees Demon luvas. Blud
Fist got Krumped. Screwbitz iz da boss now. Ye
was hopin' my boyz would buy ye time. Well, we smashed yer problem,
and den we got bored. Da planet down dere iz full uv scrappin an' I
want in. Soz I sayz, if no one comez 'ere, we can't go fight dere.
So I need shipz to come 'ere.” Screwbitz smiled, a horrid rictus
with his massive metal jaw. “Ur done 'ere, Ja'Quinn. Git off me
moon 'less I change me mine.”
Grey
was stunned. The Orks were brought here by Ja'Quinn? The
Inquisition knew their plan? “Wait! This was planned? You knew
all along?”
Ja'Quinn
turned back to the shuttle, “The warp storms prevented the arrival
of the fleet meant to destroy your attempted incursion. I had to
seek other methods to save this area.”
“Save?
You doomed this system! Do you see the monster you created,
Inquisitor? Xenos? You are as much of a heretic as I! You...”
Ja'Quinn's las-pistol silenced Grey forever. Screwbitz
laughed; a landslide.
“I
wuz wantin' 'im to suffa mor!”
Ja'Quinn's
retinue boarded the shuttle, “Screwbitz.
The Mad Mek. A fitting name.”
*****
Transmission:
Inquisitional report from Ja'Quinn of the Ordo Xenos
Betram. A new
player in the game. FMS – 4711 a moon orbiting the disputed planet
Genesha, is now home to a gathering force of Orks. Their leader
calls himself Screwbitz. He is very cunning for his race and is
determined to leave the moon and become entwined in the battle for
Ganesha. Looks like it could be the start of something big. This
Ork is responsible for the activation of distress beacon 93-1979.
Also, it would seem that these Orks dealt with the other issue for
us. I would advise avoiding the area for the time being. Other
Xenos will likely be drawn to the signal as well as rogue traders in
the area looking for wealth. We still need to observe. Also
recommend written commendation for Captain Lucas Edwards of the Wings
of Justice. Praise to the Emperor, may he live
forever.
Hope you liked it!
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| Screwbitz |
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| Da Blud Drinka |
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